This weblog is about dealing with uncertainty. Lately, somebody requested, “How do you do it? You’re so good at dealing with the unknown.” And I laughed as a result of I don’t really feel good at it. I a lot choose to carry the steering wheel and the GPS. However I get higher at dealing with uncertainty. Right here’s how:
#1. I get offended. After I stare into the darkish of what could occur with this surgical procedure or what could occur to my kids sooner or later, it’s so overwhelming that I lash out on the particular person standing closest to me. I slam doorways. I yell at those that go away towels on the ground and I argue with Kurt over who broke the garden mower. I pack a bag to run away from dwelling, as a result of nobody is paying attention sufficient to my wants. I get all the best way to the automobile, with the important thing within the ignition, earlier than realizing, “Oh, wait. I’ve performed this earlier than. When I’m in worry of the boogeyman, dying, or uncertainty, I search for the closest exit out of my ache.” Now I do know that I’ve to get mad as a result of that emotion is extra obtainable to me than disappointment. And I have to really feel to course of.
When I get offended over the littlest factor, it means I’m processing uncertainty. In truth it means I’m making nice progress. As Francis Weller says, “Nobody desires to hang around in ache. However it’s inevitable. So how can we use it as materials?”
#2 I make one thing. When I’m inventive, I can’t be fearful. There’s mind science to again me up on this. “Crafting is a pure antidepressant. It regulates massive feelings and elicits move.” All I do know is that once I draw or paint or construct one thing, worry fades. Curiosity takes over. Artistic ideas substitute anxious ones. What do I wish to make? How massive? What supplies? This time, I drew an enormous chicken’s nest on a bit of white fabric; the beginning of a portray for the entrance wall of the home. This isn’t artwork with a capital A. That is copying an illustration I discovered on-line. Then it’s scribbles and sketches, Tempera paint and utility brushes. Why? I needed to make one thing that mentioned, “Spring is right here! Rebirth and restoration occurs.” Then my 5 12 months previous neighbor requested, “Will child birds come out of the eggs?” So, early one morning, I painted cracks within the eggs. And in every week, who is aware of, perhaps just a few vivid beaks will seem.
#3 I search to serve. It’s robust to look outdoors of ourselves once we are in the midst of a pity occasion, however I swear it’s the doorway to freedom. As an alternative of specializing in what’s being taken away from me, I deal with what I may give. I give thanks for irises and peonies, for rhubarb and morels, for fogeys in good well being. I give my neighbor a journey to yoga, my good friend a vase of lilacs, my canine an unleashed run. I give cash to the organizations who’re optimistic forces for change. I write down three particular moments that I’m grateful for every evening. I search to serve. This season, the best way I’m serving is self-serving. Since everybody deserves the instruments to write down a fantastic school essay, I’m lastly creating an reasonably priced video course for all. Keep tuned!
#4 I encompass myself in Nature. I drop all the pieces and observe a river upstream or lie down beneath the celebrities. I really feel part of one thing bigger, a group of magnificence and abundance, and it makes me really feel bigger, too. After I really feel the immensity of the planet, I really feel that we’re able to immense issues. It jogs my memory that every one this magnificence occurs with out me doing a factor. Perhaps the universe is benign. Perhaps all shall be nicely. I don’t should pressure positivity, and be satisfied that all the pieces will certainly work out completely. I solely should imagine that it’s doable for all to be nicely.
There’s a #5, too…about give up and belief…however that’s for an additional weblog. 😉
So. After I don’t know what’s going to occur and I really feel uncontrolled, I get offended, I make one thing, I search to serve, and I encompass myself in Nature. In that order. It’s not fairly. There’s numerous resistance. However the one manner out is thru. It’s not about being unhealthy or good at dealing with uncertainty, it’s about understanding what works so that you can get by way of, quite than exit, the ache. Keep in mind that collectively, we will get by way of something.
Love,
Susie