“I’ve heard they often have a giant sundae bar at resignation events with, like, jimmies and maraschino cherries. Huge pile of fluff. Strawberry, chocolate, vanilla ice cream. Little wafers, you’ll be able to take all you need. Oreo crumbles. Sizzling fudge. Whipped cream. Fluff. Did I already say that? Additionally, I heard they’ve clowns.”