Money Seize


Palm’s up!


Sure, tis the season!

We’re smack dab in the midst of money seize season.

That point of yr if you hear from household & pals you by no means knew you had.

Graduations.  Weddings.  Showers.

Wherever cake is being served–you’re invited and anticipated to carry a present (Money largely).


Yeah him.

We get grad bulletins from children I don’t even know.

Her:  “He’s Nathan’s step-son’s brother.”

Me:  “However….who’s Nathan?”


We had been despatched a commencement invite from a woman I haven’t seen since she was five-years-old.

Me:  “So Kayla, are you continue to into ‘My Little Pony’?”


How particular the day!

There appears to be bridal showers galore.  Extra like bridal downpours!

Me:   “Who’s she?”

Her:  “Bear in mind Katherine?  She accidently butt-dialed us throughout dinner one time?”

Me:   “Oh, that narrows it.”


As Jerry Seinfeld would say…”Who ARE these individuals?”

They appear to return out of the woodwork this time of yr.

I obtained R.S.V. from the entire R.S.V.P. ing!

Pretend invite. However nearly proper.


It’s nonstop I inform ya!


I’m nonetheless lined in glitter from invitations we obtained in 2020.

One other pretend…however so true.



Me:  “Seth is graduating?  Who’s he once more?”

Her: “He was the child working at Cosco who helped us get the bathroom paper from up excessive.”

Me:  “Oh.”


The invites swarm this time of yr like flies to potato salad.

Her:  “She is your cousin’s soon-to-be daughter-in-law.”

           “He’s my boss’ brother’s alternate scholar.”

           “She is marrying our neighbor’s parole officer.”

           “Our Uber driver in Cleveland?  He & his spouse had a child.”

Me:  (Head explodes)


When does it finish?  My cash printing press is operating low on ink.

I shake it off by realizing it’s higher they keep in mind us now-than in no way.  Believing that we made an impression.  We touched their lives.  We helped them change into who they’re as a person.

Eh, who am I kidding.  They simply need the money.

Supply hyperlink

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