I Hate Change However I am Afraid to Repair That

I’ve at all times hated change. I hate it when one thing I am used to has to change into one thing else. Like eliminating a favourite t-shirt or eliminating my automotive as a result of it broke down completely.

That does not imply I do not like new issues — I like new issues. I like getting new devices. I like watching new motion pictures. I like making an attempt new eating places.

However I do not like changing the outdated issues. I do not like eliminating my outdated cellphone. I do not like when an outdated film franchise will get a brand new actor. And I lose my ever-loving thoughts when my favourite restaurant goes out of enterprise or eliminates my favourite dish. Each are equally horrible.

I wish to suppose that I am easygoing and adaptable. I am not, however I wish to suppose it. I am solely adaptable and easygoing so long as I can pout and sulk for a number of days as a result of one thing is barely completely different from the way it was.

A part of my downside is that I like streaks. I like doing one thing each single day with out fail, and I get upset when that streak breaks. My present Wordle streak is 77 days, however my max is 102. I almost rage-quit the final time I missed a day, so now I’ve a reminder on my to-do app.

I as soon as carried the identical Pilot G-2 .5mm pen daily for 4 years, changing empty cartridges with full cartridges taken from different Pilot pens after which throwing away the barrel. I went by way of 9 brand-new pens that manner and deliberate to make use of this pen for the remainder of my life.

Besides my daughter snapped the clip off, and my spouse thought I used to be being unreasonable for making an attempt to attach the clip again on.

I’ve tried overcoming my worry of change, however I’ve had all of it my life, so I do not wish to break the streak.

It will get worse each time I’m going on a visit for work as a result of I do know my spouse will invariably make main adjustments to my life. She typically encourages me to go away the home each time she will get an itch to make a change. Or will get uninterested in me.

As soon as, she utterly modified our complete home, however I managed to search out the brand new one.

Throughout one other journey, she remade the lounge. She moved the TV from the east facet of the room to the west. She additionally swapped the 2 couches.

Now we have two almost-identical loveseats, and I’ve my favourite spot on my favourite loveseat. 

Or, relatively, I had my favourite spot. I might put my arm alongside the again of the sofa and fiddle with the upholstery staples. I additionally like to sit down on the correct facet of the sofa with the top desk close to my elbow. That was my seating association for years, and I used to be pleased.

Besides not anymore. Not solely was I dealing with the unsuitable manner, I used to be on the unsuitable sofa on the unsuitable spot on the unsuitable facet.

My decisions tormented me. Do I abandon my spot or my sofa? Do I hold my facet or keep close to the top desk? I did not watch TV for every week whereas I wrestled with my selections. I lastly selected to be close to the top desk, however I do not know if I did the correct factor. It nonetheless haunts me to today.

It is also occurred after we modified bedrooms. I wish to sleep on my proper facet, on the correct facet of the mattress, with my again towards the center. And I should be farthest from the door.

However after we journey, or we transfer homes, my entire life is turned 180 levels as a result of the mattress is both dealing with the unsuitable path or in opposition to the unsuitable wall, and I’ve to sleep on my left facet or the facet nearest the door.

This week, I am getting back from a visit to Indiana, and my spouse knowledgeable me that she has modified round my storage workplace. 

I used to have a pleasant workplace within the eating room with a small desk, giant bookshelves, and I might simply attain the kitchen for mid-morning munchies. Or a post-lunch plate. Or late afternoon appetizer. Or pre-dinner dessert.

However I returned from a visit to search out my workplace was now within the storage as a result of my spouse determined that my consolation was someway much less vital than consuming dinner as a household.

And now I’ve been knowledgeable that she has upended my life once more. She needs me to start out doing TikTok movies and has turned my workplace into one thing extra “organized” and “respectable” and fewer of a “hobo camp.” 

I do not understand how I really feel about this. On the one hand, my life will likely be utterly modified, and I will must get used to a brand new manner of doing issues.

Then again, she does this each time I’m going on a visit, and I would hate to interrupt the streak.

Picture credit score: Monstera (Pexels.com, Inventive Commons 0)

My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is completed and out there from 4 Horsemen Publications. You will get the e book and print variations right here.

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