CHARLES: Good night. It is Vogue Week in Washington DC, and folks’s tongues are wagging about a number of the lovely, not-so-beautiful, and downright ugly folks on show right here in our nation’s capital.
Welcome to the first-ever U.S. Senate Vogue Present sponsored by Males’s Wearhouse. I am dressmaker Charles Frederick Price, and I am joined by my co-host and vogue modern, Lucy Duff Gordon. We’re right here on the Purple Carpet Runway, sponsored by each George Soros and the Koch Brothers, exterior the U.S. Capitol Constructing, able to showcase the most recent in Senatorial fashions. Proper, Lucy?
LUCY: That is proper, Chuck.
CHARLES: It is Charles.
LUCY: No matter. Anyway, after Senator Majority Chief Charles Schumer dropped the Senate’s costume code earlier this week, America’s senators have been free to decorate any previous approach they need.
CHARLES: What prompted Chuck Schumer to drop this dignified, distinguished costume code?
LUCY: Properly, Chuck—
LUCY: No matter. Some folks consider that it has to do with Pennsylvania’s Senator John Fetterman’s continuous carrying of dishevelled sweatshirts and knee-length shorts which make him appear to be a bald little one in his daddy’s garments. Reasonably than implementing the costume code on a man in search of the paint aisle at Residence Depot on a Saturday morning, Senator Charles Schumer took the trail of least resistance and washed his arms of the whole matter.
CHARLES: Washed his arms, certainly. And right here we’re with our first entrants, Indiana’s two senators, Todd Younger and Mike Braun, who’re developing the crimson carpet collectively. Lucy, describe what we’re seeing right here.
LUCY: Properly, Chuck—
LUCY: No matter. I am unable to actually inform the 2 Senators aside. Each males pulled up in a Dodge Caravan minivan, and each are carrying tan khakis and navy blue polo shirts.
CHARLES: I consider one among them wears glasses.
LUCY: Meh, it would not matter, I’ve already forgotten what they appear to be. Subsequent up, now we have Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, who’s being propped up — excuse me, escorted by two of his staffers.
CHARLES: It seems like Senator McConnell continues to be carrying his conventional grey swimsuit, so what’s so particular about at this time’s conservative couture?
LUCY: Properly, Chuck, the Senator is definitely carrying the most recent in nightwear beneath his swimsuit.
CHARLES: It is Charles. And also you imply—?
LUCY: Completely, Chuck. Senator McConnell is carrying a set of pale blue pajamas by Brooks Brothers as a part of at this time’s political pageant. It is the most recent in breathable, sturdy sleepwear that allows you to nap wherever you need. Whether or not it is a night time in town or a day speech to supporters, these pajamas are elegant, cozy, and cozy.
CHARLES: That is definitely a conversation-stopper in these halls, Lucy. However, now, due to the Fetterman Vogue Flap, something goes.
LUCY: It definitely does, as a result of behind him is California Senator, Dianne Feinstein. She’s sporting the most recent in California seaside bum put on, sporting board shorts, a Baja pullover hoodie, and a puka shell necklace.
CHARLES: And look, she’s tossing promotional hacky sack balls to the group.
LUCY: They’re simply known as hacky sacks, Chuck.
CHARLES: Charles. Subsequent up, rolling out of a police paddy wagon is New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez who’s both having some enjoyable along with his colleagues or is lastly accepting his new bribery costs. Inform us about his ensemble.
LUCY: Properly, Chuck, Senator Menendez, who has been indicted along with his spouse, Nadine, is carrying a black-and-white striped jail outfit. And as a substitute of a briefcase, he is carrying a canvas bag with a comically giant greenback signal on it.
CHARLES: The group is definitely getting a kick out of that one. Now, Lucy, as we look forward to the following Senators to reach, are you able to inform us simply precisely who can calm down their mode of costume on the Senate ground? Does it apply to everybody?
LUCY: No, under no circumstances, Chuck. The costume code was solely lifted for the Senators themselves, the makers of our legal guidelines and protectors of our democracy. Everybody else with enterprise on the Senate ground — aides, staffers, and lobbyists — should nonetheless abide by the time-honored costume code: Coats and ties for males and enterprise costume for girls.
CHARLES: However not everybody helps this new code, do they?
LUCY: They don’t. Some residents and different politicians have been saying that our authorities has hit a brand new low.
CHARLES: Actually? NOW, we have hit a brand new low? NOW issues are getting unhealthy? The place have they been for the final six years? I imply, sure, John Fetterman dressing like he heard the rubbish truck and realized he forgot to take the trash out may be very undignified. However I am unable to consider that is the bottom that our authorities has ever gone. That looks like a hysterical overreaction.
LUCY: Consider what you want, Chuck, however society has modified, and our fashion of costume is altering together with it. Who is aware of? Perhaps Senator Fetterman will launch a brand new period of slovenly vulgarity in our nation’s halls of energy.
CHARLES: Thanks, Lucy. We’ll be again for extra of at this time’s vogue festivities, however first, a phrase from Dickie’s Bib Overalls. Whether or not you are shoveling manure on the farm or within the Senate, remember your Dickie’s.
Picture credit score: Governor Tom Wolf (Wikimedia Commons, Artistic Commons 2.0)
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