The rain pitters and patters towards the window, the darkish storm clouds rolling in whereas thunder roars within the distance, making as loud of a noise it will probably do, as all it desires is to be acknowledged. The rain is the storm’s tears, expressing how unhappy it is because of being ever so lonely all these years. I sit on my mattress, observing my clean display, not understanding easy methods to even begin on a random project, an project I wouldn’t have frightened about in 2019. I stare out on the window, understanding I can by some means relate to the storm that screams out with its highly effective thunder; one thing I want I might do, leaping from seventh grade to already being in my junior yr of highschool.
Nobody actually talks about Covid-19. At the very least, how a lot of an affect it has made on society. After all, the pandemic modified every thing. Everybody is aware of that. The way it modified the workforce and the way individuals by no means need to work anymore, the way it affected the costs of every thing, the way it affected faculty, leaping from bodily to on-line within the span of three weeks – however nobody expands on it. And to me, it’s so arduous making an attempt to grasp that simply 4 years in the past – which doesn’t even really feel like 4 years in the past – I used to be a seventh grader in center faculty, who nonetheless had the identical buddies, and nonetheless lived in the identical city I grew up in. It’s humorous, as to how naive I used to be again then, and the way mature I’m now.
It undoubtedly sounds cliche, speaking about my “enchancment in maturity and brains,” as a result of ‘After all I’ve matured!! It’s been 4 years since 2019 ended!!’ however that’s not why I like speaking about it. I notice that with age comes maturity, nevertheless it’s the way in which I watched myself develop up these previous few years that I develop into fixated on. I can barely let you know what occurred throughout quarantine, solely the important thing moments. However what I can say is that it was only a second in time, disappearing like a dandelion flying within the wind. Once I was in seventh grade, I wished to do nothing however giggle with my buddies, and watch these cringey sport playthroughs whereas I drew fan artwork. I additionally wished to be 16 so badly, pondering I’d have a lot freedom like youngsters in these rom-com films do.
I wished to have a candy 16, I wished all of my buddies to make an enormous shock occasion, presents coating the occasion desk whereas my three-tiered cake made its solution to me, carried by my loving mom, ever so happy with me. However, goals don’t come true. It by no means occurred – the occasion, that’s. None of my buddies received collectively and stunned me, I by no means received the thousands and thousands of presents, and I actually didn’t get the liberty I dreamed of.
“
There’s a phrase “you’ll be able to’t have your cake and eat it too”, however nobody talks about while you do eat it: it sucks, lengthy story brief.
— Moth Payne
One other humorous factor about time is the way it can change individuals so simply. It’s like urgent a button, not even desirous about the result after urgent the button. I discussed these buddies I had in seventh grade, and people buddies meant absolutely the world to me. I liked them. Nevertheless, when Covid started, I moved away; all the way in which all the way down to Arkansas. My first mistake was believing my buddies liked me again, that point wouldn’t change what we had.
We frolicked one final time earlier than I moved away, one final time with my previous good friend group. We selected to go on a mountaineering path, and have a picnic by our favourite lake; in the long run, it didn’t end up the way in which I wished it to. One other humorous impact of time, it by no means goes the way you need it to, and it’ll simply chew you within the butt later. To summarize, none of them paid consideration to me, and even judged me once we talked about private issues resembling my weight, my private identification, how I really feel about myself, every thing intimate you possibly can share with somebody: and I used to be judged for it. When my buddies have been dropped off at their homes, none of them even hugged me or stated goodbye to me – it felt like I used to be a canine on a leash that they have been compelled to deliver. And I used to be damage — I ended up dropping them, and getting right into a poisonous relationship with certainly one of my previous buddies. After all, I ended up leaving him too. For good causes.
All of that occurred in 2020, 4 years in the past in two months. I want I might return in time and cease it for only a few seconds, and inform 12-year-old me that “It’s going to be okay; you simply want to remain robust for these subsequent few years, no less than till you flip 16 – which can go by method faster than you anticipate it to.” The brand new objective is to make it till I flip 18, however this time? I believe I’m going to make it.
I miss all of my previous buddies, and I miss the entire alternatives I might’ve had if Covid-19 didn’t occur, and time was allowed to decelerate and take its course. But when the pandemic by no means did occur, I’d’ve by no means met any of my buddies I’ve immediately; buddies that I do know can be with me for a really very long time. Associates that I do know love me again. I’d’ve by no means anticipated to discover a love for journalism and even need to comply with a profession in it when faculty comes round.
Time is humorous. In some moments, it may be a rainstorm utilizing its thunder to precise its feelings, the rain throwing itself towards a glass window. However in some moments? It’s the sunshine after a storm, rainbows within the sky whereas the solar’s rays heat my pores and skin. Its message is form in comparison with the unhappy message the storm carries, saying that even when time flies by, not permitting a single particular person course of what on earth is happening half of the time? It’s okay to have hope for the longer term, even if you happen to don’t know if time goes to move on by, or if it’ll lastly be okay to take it sluggish, for simply someday.