I gained #Whamageddon this 12 months.
That won’t sound like a giant deal, however to me, it is a hard-fought Christmas miracle that took years to realize.
Earlier than I begin, the phrase is pronounced like Wham and armageddon have been mashed collectively like peanut butter and pickles. Additionally, the # in the beginning of the phrase is silent; it isn’t pronounced “pound signal whamageddon.”
The sport could be very easy: From December 1st by means of midnight on December twenty fourth, you must keep away from listening to Wham’s model of “Final Christmas.” If you happen to hear and acknowledge it, even only a few seconds, you are out.
Another model is OK, whether or not it is a unhealthy cowl, a youngsters’s choir, or your neighbor drunkenly singing it on the high of his lungs, crying, “Debbie, I am sorry I slept along with your sister once more!”
If you happen to get whammed, you report back to your social media associates, “I am out.” And if you happen to’re actually inventive, you should use a gif of Kramer shouting, “I’M OUT!” in that. . . particular episode of Seinfeld.
(If , .)
Additionally, the foundations do not state you can not ship a hyperlink to the track to your mates to make them lose, however it’s extensively thought-about an a-hole transfer, and also you should be shunned by your mates.
As a result of if you happen to do it to me, I am telling Santa to present you coal. And never the nice coal, like for a barbecue grill. The horrible coal that made Ralphie’s Previous Man swear on the furnace.
Yearly for the final 5 years, I’ve performed Whamageddon, doing every thing I can to keep away from listening to the track. I’ve solely ever gained twice.
The primary 12 months, I used to be out in only a few days as a result of we listened to one of many native Christmas music stations. They will need to have hated Whamageddoners as a result of they performed it a number of occasions a day.
That is after I realized how exhausting this may be as a result of “Final Christmas” is in every single place. It is inescapable; it is the Rickrolling of Christmas. It retains turning up like a foul penny coated in fungus.
As quickly as I used to be out, I began creating a technique for the subsequent season. On December 1st, I put my new plan into motion.
First, I ended listening to the native Christmas station. As an alternative, I created a Christmas playlist on my cellphone that I might play over my automobile radio. And if I used to be ever in my spouse’s automobile, I requested her to not play that station and mentioned I used to be “all Christmassed out” for the day. Subsequent, I prevented locations that performed that very same station or streamed ones similar to it.
And it labored! I gained Whamageddon that 12 months, so I bragged about my wonderful accomplishment to my household.
They did not care.
“That is why you by no means allow us to hearken to the Christmas station??”
It did not matter. I had a profitable technique, and I used to be assured I may win 12 months after 12 months, making it into the Whamageddon Corridor of Fame.
Besides the subsequent 12 months, I barely lasted two weeks after I received whammed at a Starbucks.
The 12 months after that, it occurred at certainly one of my former favourite bookstores. I used to be 4 days away from profitable when George Michael gave me his coronary heart.
And final 12 months, it occurred at one other espresso store that usually does not play pop music; I misplaced a couple of week into the season. My report — and my confidence — was in tatters.
Cue the coaching montage as a result of I made a decision I wasn’t taking place and not using a struggle.
I refused to hearken to any native radio in any respect. My solely Christmas music decisions have been a classical Christmas streaming station from Seattle or the Forties Christmas music station on SiriusXM. I stayed out of Starbucks and wore earbuds set at a harmful quantity to dam out any unintentional audio.
I used to be practically knocked out by certainly one of my youngsters, however it turned out they have been solely listening to a canopy. The disaster was averted, and I did not need to take their presents again to the shop in spite of everything.
However you do not at all times need to do Whamageddon this fashion: There are alternative ways to play, particularly if you happen to just like the track.
A method is for you and your mates to attempt to hear the track as typically as attainable. Each time you do, you get a degree. Whoever has essentially the most factors on the finish of the season wins. In fact, do not cheat and hearken to it on repeat. Keep in mind, Santa is watching you.
I’ve my very own concept for a variation referred to as Whamageddon Roulette: As soon as a day, tune into your native Christmas station for ten seconds earlier than switching away once more. Or, place a cell order at your native Starbucks, run inside to choose it up, and run out once more with out getting whammed.
I notice this makes Christmas aggressive, which is not enjoyable for some folks, and that is OK. Christmas is meant to be a season of enjoyable and delight. A few of us like a quiet time listening to our favourite vacation songs. Others like enjoying foolish video games to maintain us on our toes and to present us one thing to sit up for.
However if you happen to suppose it is dumb, that is high-quality. Subsequent 12 months, to avoid wasting me from tears, I am going to play it with somebody particular.
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