Loads of legendary creatures are simply — and stick to us right here, that is scientific — a factor and one other factor. Like, a horse and a few wings. A lady and a few snakes. A man and a bull’s head. A dude however actually massive.
Most of mythology’s A-listers are like that, as a result of they’re simple concepts to wrap your head round. The place stuff will get actually fascinating is the place they lose that one-line simplicity and change into, nicely, bizarre as all hell.
Like, when you’re on the level the place it takes a number of sentences to explain one thing, that’s whenever you begin pondering, cling on, there is likely to be one thing occurring right here — all of it looks as if an excessive amount of of a ache within the ass to make up one thing that requires 10 minutes of description when, when you’re making an attempt to place the concern in somebody, you may simply go for “massive cow however on fireplace.”
There are 1000’s upon 1000’s of fascinating creatures lurking in mythology and folklore that get nowhere close to the press of unicorns. The place are the cartoons about mountain-sized, seven-headed pigs?
The Three-Anused Turtle Man of Japan
Present in Japanese folklore, the kappa is a inexperienced, vaguely humanlike being with a shell, webbed arms, three anuses and an indentation filled with water on its head. They like cucumbers, sumo wrestling and pulling youngsters’s souls by their buttholes.
The Slavic Aquatic Biker
The vodyanoi of Slavic folklore seems to be like an outdated man with a frog-like face, red-hot eyes and a inexperienced beard, coated in muck and algae. He rides round rivers on a log, like a form of aquatic biker, drowning folks.
The Hybrid Offspring of Bored Flesh-Stuffers
Proof that extra is extra, the Wolpertinger is a hybrid of a rabbit, squirrel, deer and — why not — pheasant, stated to roam Bavaria’s alpine forests. They could or could not have originated with mischievous taxidermists making an attempt to tear off vacationers.
The Tea-Slurping, Explosion-Averse Non-Mammoth Beast of Russia
Originating with the Mansi folks of Russia, witkas had been thought to have two big antlers (possible mammoth tusks with no apparent origin) and a keenness for tea. They required frequent sacrifices and will solely be killed by explosions.
Megapig
Garo folklore, from India, brings us the Wakmangganchi Aragondi, a mountain-sized, seven-headed pig. Each head had one glowing eye and 7 sword-like tusks, whereas vegetation grew on its again and rivers flowed down its sides. Terrifyingly superior.
France’s Betrunked Occasional Finger-Healer
Present in Ardennes fantasy, the karnabo is the offspring of a demon and a traveler, showing humanlike with an extended elephantine trunk. It could possibly remedy finger infections, however solely on Good Friday — infect a finger after Easter and also you’re SOL.
India’s Tall Kneeless Shrieking Lizard
Originating in tales from the Garo hills of India, the ajaju had the physique of a large chameleon standing on bamboolike legs the peak of a person. It had 12 tongues, a thirst for blood and a terrifying shrill cry.
The Armpit-Confronted Self-Devourer of China
A person-eating goat with tiger enamel and a human child’s cry, the paoxiao stems from tales in China’s Mount Gouwu. Its eyes are in its armpits, and when it eats folks it will get so excited it begins to eat itself, too.
The Alaskan Screaming Hand with Screaming Fingers
Originating in Alaskan Yupik folklore, the Itqiirpak is paying homage to the Santa Cruz emblem — a large hand with mouth on its palm and a smaller mouth on each finger. It seems from the ocean to herald catastrophe or eat youngsters.
The Hemmorhoid-Curing Fish-Snake-Duck of China
In case you’re visiting China’s Yangtse river with hemmorhoids, don’t fear — in response to native folklore, consuming a Hujiao, a fish-snake-duck hybrid, will assist. The creature impressed the title of a weird bacterium lacking cell partitions, which additionally presumably doesn’t have hemmorhoids.
Papua New Guinea’s Two-Dicked Large-Eared Man-Eater
Sporting two penises and ears sufficiently big to roll up in to sleep, the Oriogorúho — present in Kiwai folklore from Papua New Guinea — eats people complete and uncooked. Its bones, floor up, make a strength-enhancing combating drugs.
The Big Complaining Japanese Cranium-Skeleton
Whereas “big-ass skeleton” isn’t essentially that imaginative, Japan’s gashadokuro — a 30-foot indignant skeleton made from the skulls of lifeless folks, complaining in regards to the bamboo rising painfully from its eye and consuming folks — utterly guidelines.
The Toxic Large-Chinned Greek Rooster-Snake
The amphisbaena of Greek mythology grew out of blood dropped from the severed head of Medusa. It has a big-shinned, poison-dripping head at every finish, wings, hen toes and a uninteresting gaze. Their flesh is an aphrodisiac, clearly.
The Grotesque Deadly-Breathed Scottish Demise-Horse
Described in folklore of Scotland’s Orkney islands, the nuckelavee is a big sea monster with breath that kills crops and makes animals sick. On land, it seems to be vaguely like a horse with a bulbous, skinless rider with seen veins. Horrible!
The Violent Japanese Futon
The boroboroton is a mythological Japanese futon that involves life and strangles the one that was making an attempt to sleep in it. That’s fucking wonderful.
