Urology is a department of medication that focuses on the urinary tracts of men and women, in addition to the male reproductive system. Urologists diagnose and deal with a variety of circumstances associated to those areas, together with urinary tract infections, kidney stones, bladder points, and prostate issues. Don’t be fooled by the flamboyant title, although. Urologists take care of the underbelly of human existence, the nether areas the place leaks, blockages, and malfunctions reign supreme. However concern not, readers, for amidst the gurneys and gurgle of bodily fluids, a secret weapon exists, jokes.
Sure, you learn that appropriately. Jokes which might be so terrible that your bladder quivers. Positive, it’s a distinct segment style, but it surely’s a passionate one. Urologists, bless their bladder-loving hearts, acknowledge the ability of humor within the face of, effectively, faces which have simply undergone a prostate examination. So the subsequent time you end up smiling at a “kidney failure” pun or snorting at a “urethra” double entendre, bear in mind: it’s urology humor, not simply rest room humor.
Greatest Urologist Jokes
What did the pinnacle of the Urology division say to the physician who simply bought accepted?
“Urine!”
As per a survey, 4 out of 5 urologists…
…Odor their apple juice earlier than they drink it.
Who’s a urologist’s favourite singer?
Urethra Franklin.
What did the one Urologist say to the opposite Urologist?
“What’s the bladder with you?”
How do you diagnose hypospadias on an EKG?
Inverted P waves.
An aged man walks into the urologist’s workplace and tells the physician his downside is ED and asks what he ought to do.
The physician advised him Cialis.
A few days later he got here again saying Alice didn’t do it for him and now his spouse needs a divorce.
A health care provider requested his nurse why she wasn’t on the urology conference.
She stated, “I watched the reside stream.”
“Good day! Thanks for calling the urology division.”
Please maintain.
What’s a urologist’s favourite letter?
P.
Did you hear in regards to the urologist who judged a magnificence pageant?
To every contestant, he stated, “On a scale of 1 to 10, urinate.”
Advisable: Greatest Endoscopy Jokes
Thanos walks into his urologist’s workplace.
The urologist says, “Congrats Thanos, you now even have the kidney stone!”
The climate reporter on the CrossFit gymnasium was typically mistaken for a doctor.
Folks thought he was a meaty urologist.
“The glass is half empty,” says the pessimist.
“The glass is half full,” says the optimist.
“When you dumb f*cks have been arguing, I drank your water,” says the opportunist.
“That wasn’t water,” says the urologist.
What’s the distinction between a phlebotomist and a urologist?
A phlebotomist pricks your finger…
What do you get a person who has the whole lot?
A great urologist.
What did the urologist yell on the rollercoaster?
“Weeeeeeeeee!”
A person goes to his physician for his bodily and will get despatched to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he will get there, he discovers the urologist is a really fairly feminine physician.
The feminine physician says,”’I’m going to verify your prostate right this moment, however this new process is slightly totally different from what you might be in all probability used to. I need you to lie in your proper facet, bend your knees, then whereas I verify your prostate, take a deep breath and say, ‘99.’”
The man obeys and says, “99!”
The physician says, “Nice. Now flip over in your left facet and once more, whereas I repeat the verify, take a deep breath and say, ‘99.’”
Once more, the man says, “99.”
The physician stated, “Excellent. Now then, I need you to lie in your again together with your knees raised. I’m going to verify your prostate with this hand, and with the opposite hand, I’m going to carry on to your p*nis to maintain it out of the way in which. Now take a deep breath and say, ‘99.’”
The man begins, “One … Two … Three”…
Why did the Scotsman go to the urologist?
As a result of he had a wee downside.
Why was the urologist so fashionable?
As a result of he had earned the respect of his friends.
What’s the distinction between a gynecologist and a urologist?
The style of the fingers.
Advisable: Humorous Gastroenterology Jokes
An engineer by accident took a medical faculty examination. See his solutions:
Antibody: One who hates his physique.
Artery: Research of Nice Work or navy, undecided.
Micro organism: Again door of a Cafeteria.
Coma: Punctuation Mark.
Gall Bladder: Bladder of a Lady.
Genes: Blue Denim.
Labor Ache: Damage at Work.
Liposuction: A French Kiss.
Ultrasound: Radical Sound that’s above human listening to capability, resembling a spouse’s discuss.
Cardiology: Superior Research of Taking part in Playing cards
Dyspepsia: problem in ingesting Pepsi.
Hen Pox: A Non-Veg. continental dish.
CT Scan: Check for figuring out an individual’s metropolis.
Radiology- The examine of how Radio works.
Parotitis: Details about the parrots.
Urology: The examine of European individuals.
Why did the alchemist rob the hospital?
As a result of urology had acquired some Thinker’s Stones.
What did the cop say to his shady urologist?
“Urine bother!”
What do you name an previous, straight man who seems at d*cks all day lengthy?
A urologist.
Nurse: Sir, I’ve had phrase from the proctology division that they’re nearly achieved together with your sh*t. It’s essential drop by in per week to allow them to provide the outcomes.
Affected person: Per week!? Are they taking the piss?
Nurse: No sir, that may be urology. They need to be calling you tomorrow together with your outcomes.
What did the urologist say once they made a discovery?
“Urethra!”
What sort of road does a vasectomy urologist reside on?
A cul-de-sac.
Why do urologists not likely take care of sufferers from islands?
As a result of they take care of in-continent sufferers!
Physician: Good day, first time at our urology clinic?
Affected person: Sure.
Physician: And do you m*sturbate typically?
Affected person: Uhm, it’s not unhealthy for me now could be it?
Physician: Properly, You’ll must cease.
Affected person: Why is that?
Physician: As a result of I can’t verify you in any other case.
Advisable: Humorous Endoscopy Jokes
What do you name a urologist who performs reconstructive surgical procedure?
A cocksmith.
What’s one other phrase for a urologist?
An erectrictian.
What’s the distinction between a lab technician and a urologist?
A lab technician pricks your finger.
“Doc, I feel my son has gonorrhea,” a affected person advised his urologist on the cellphone. “The one girl he’s screwed is our maid.”
“OK, don’t be laborious on him. He’s only a child,” the doc soothed. “Get him in right here straight away and I’ll deal with him.”
“However Doc, I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve bought the identical symptom she has.”
“You then are available in with him and I’ll repair you each up,” replied the physician.
“Properly,” the person admitted, “I feel my spouse now has it too.”
“Son of a bitch!” the doctor roared. “Which means we’ve all bought it!”
Two Urologists have been discussing the outcomes of a scan.
“These pictures look very comparable, however in the event you look carefully you’ll be able to see there’s a vas deferens.”
Why did the anarchist refuse to go to the urologist?
As a result of he refuse to be part of something prostate.
What’s the distinction between orthopedics and urology?
You’re employed on the opposite bone.
An adolescent frightened about having three testicles goes to a urologist. The urologist assures him that it’s nothing to fret about.
Relieved from stress, the boy goes to a stranger and says, “Do you know that there are 5 testicles among the many two of us.”
The stranger says, “I’m very sorry that you’ve just one.”
What do you name a non-religious Urologist?
An apostate feelin’ your prostate.
What did the pc technician say to the urologist?
“It hurts when IP.”
What’s the distinction between an orthopedic surgeon and a urologist?
The urologist touches another person’s d*ck throughout surgical procedure.
An 89-year-old man goes to the urologist.
“Doc,” he says, “I would like a vasectomy.”
“A vasectomy? Why on the earth would you want a vasectomy at your age?”
“Properly doc, I simply married a ravishing 22-year-old girl, and final evening she advised me she was pregnant! I can’t have extra youngsters at my age!”
The physician thought for a second and stated, “Let me let you know a narrative. This man went out for a stroll within the woods, and he noticed an enormous bear. The bear began charging at him. He was a goner for positive, however on the final minute he held up his fingers, went ‘bang’ and the bear fell useless from a gunshot to the pinnacle.”
The previous man regarded on the doc incredulously “Unattainable! Another person should have shot that bear!”
The physician stated, “I feel that’s what occurred in your case as effectively.”
Advisable: Humorous Vasectomy Jokes
Did you hear in regards to the blind urologist who had bother discovering his affected person’s p*nis?
You gotta hand it to him.
What’s a urologist’s favourite rap group?
ICP.
A person discovered his d*ck all purple and swollen after b*nging a hooker.
In a panic, he rushed to his household physician to get it checked. The physician advised him there was no treatment and the one means was to have it amputated.
Refusing to just accept his destiny, he stomped out of the clinic and went to the most effective urologist in his nation. However even there he was advised that there was no treatment and needed to get it amputated.
Caught with despair, he limped out of the clinic and occurred to likelihood upon a Chinese language sensei. He thought to himself why the hell not since he already had nothing extra to lose and went in to get a session.
“You see that’s the issue with all these western quacks. The whole lot additionally needs to cut off!” The sensei lamented.
The person let loose a sigh of aid after which requested the sensei what may very well be achieved to avoid wasting his pecker.
“You may simply go away it alone. It can finally fall off by itself.”
What’s the distinction between hematologists and urologists?
A hematologist pricks fingers.
Why do urologists like UTIs?
It means urine enterprise.
Why did the pepper go to the urologist?
As a result of he habanero urethra.
A person goes to see his urologist.
about an issue he’s having. “Properly,” says the physician, “let’s take a look on the little- Jesus Christ, that’s fairly the schlong you’ve bought there!” “Yeah, you see, it’s 15 inches and scares the ladies away. I’d actually prefer to have it shortened by a couple of.”
The urologist contemplates the person’s request shortly earlier than answering, “You recognize, I’ve simply the factor for you. Should you actually need to shave a couple of inches off that hammer of justice of yours, go into the woods and search for an enchanted frog. Each time he solutions a query negatively, your pocket howitzer will shrink by three full inches!”
Thrilled by that information, the person, armed with a measuring tape, goes into the woods to search out the frog. After hours of looking out, a voice behind him croaks, “In search of somebody?” the enchanted frog! The person wastes no time and says, “Will you marry me, frog?”
“No means,” says the frog. The person goes to verify his pecker behind a tree and – eureka! – see it’s 3 inches shorter. “A footlong johnson remains to be a bit an excessive amount of,” he thinks, and asks the frog once more, to the identical impact. With 9 inches left, he nonetheless isn’t fairly content material, so he walks over to the frog as soon as extra. “So, frog. Will you marry me now?”
“Goddammit, human. I advised you no, no, f*cking NO!”
Did you hear in regards to the urologist that was eaten by a bear?
He was a meteorologist.
What did the group of urologists title their band?
I See Pee.
Advisable: Humorous Gynecology Jokes
A person goes to a urologist and says he has an issue along with his penis.
“OK, effectively, are you able to urinate, are you able to get an erection?”
“Positive, no downside.”
“Ermm, effectively how about your intercourse life, are you able to describe it to me?”
“Properly, I get up and have intercourse with my spouse. Then I make some espresso and breakfast, and when she comes downstairs to the kitchen, I normally have intercourse along with her once more proper then and there. Then I go away for work. I’ve a sizzling secretary who’s into it, so very first thing at work, now we have intercourse, a couple of times. Then at lunch, I’m going and see my mistress. That takes about two hours, we’re at it like rabbits. Again at work, it’s the secretary once more. I go away work and go residence sixish, have intercourse with my spouse, eat dinner, then go to mattress. Most likely intercourse once more. Then I go to sleep. Oh, and typically I wake her as much as have intercourse.”
The physician listens to the person in disbelief.
“Okay, it could appear you might be very energetic. I actually don’t see an issue right here. Why did you come to see me within the first place?”
“It hurts once I jerk off.”
Why are urologists egocentric?
As a result of they’re all about primary.
What do you name a urologist with a TikTok account?
A DikDok.
A person involves see a urologist.
“When is your earliest urination within the day and the way common is it?” the physician asks him.
“Each day, at precisely 8:00, I urinate,” the person responds.
“That’s good. How about defecation? Any obstruction?”
“Each day, at precisely 8:10, I defecate, with none obstructions by any means,” the person responds.
“That’s good, too. However why did you come to see me, then?”
“As a result of I don’t get up till 9:00!”
What’s the distinction between a urologist and a podiatrist?
One is much more impressed in the event you present him a foot.
Why are urologists nice at checking out your Web Connection?
They’ll get something streaming.
What do they name a urologist within the Southern states?
A y’allogist.
The annual urology vs proctology basketball match ended predictably.
Urology is #1.
Proctology is #2.
Advisable: Humorous Proctology Jokes
Did you hear in regards to the urologist who bought wealthy doing scrotal lifts for getting older males?
He determined to go for the low hanging fruit.
What legitimizes urology analysis?
Pee’r overview.
Do you may have a humorous joke about Urology? Write down the puns within the remark part beneath!